that-girl-el

fuckyeahchandlerbing:

eatstarsnsparkle:

boazpriestly:

osointricate:

boazpriestly:

demonsanddragons:

darcywho:

harlotstarlet-queenofconeyisland:

chasexjackson:

THE GOLDEN RULE OF TUMBLR

my god, we’re all Ross.

Excuse you.

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Excuse you

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So in conclusion, we are all the men of Friends, combined. 

Not just the men.

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Phoebe is basically a walking night blogger when she’s got a guitar.  Admit it.

In conclusion, we are the show Friends. 

we all need this on our blogs

This is the most beautiful post on all of Tumblr.

schizophr3niaa
  • society: oh you have your period? well you have two options.
  • woman: okay.
  • society: you can use sanitary pads, which make you feel like you are wearing a diaper, and have the added fun benefit of being extremely uncomfortable and give you the extreme paranoia that they will not be enough coverage and at any moment with any movement or sudden sneeze you'll bleed over onto your clothes and walk around all day with blood stained trousers while everyone points and laughs at you.
  • woman: sounds awful. what's my second option.
  • society: a penis shaped wad of cotton that you shove uncomfortably inside yourself and it catches the blood before it leaves your body.
  • woman: still seems pretty awful.
  • society: wait! it gets better! there's the outside chance that using those will kill you!
  • woman: well, are they at least free? like how men can have access to free condoms? i mean, it's not like i'm choosing for this to happen.
  • society: HAHAHA! that's funny. no, you have to pay for them. and they're really fucking expensive.
  • woman:
  • society: oh, and if you tell anyone that you ARE on your period, your judgement, opinions, and reactions are going to be dismissed as the crazy ramblings of a lunatic.
  • woman:
  • society:
  • woman: i think i'll go with my third option.
  • society:
  • woman:
  • society: what third option?
  • woman: i think i'll bleed on everything you love.
onesassybiatch
semiotickitten:

apiratenhisprincess:

4ngelo:

theodorepython:

miami-tea:


The Defibrillator Toaster
My mom would be so annoyed… every morning I would run into the kitchen screaming “WE’RE LOSING THEM!!! BEEP BEEP BEEPBEEPBEEP!”
“DON’T YOU DIE ON ME, DAMNIT!!!  NURSE, WE NEED 12 CC’S OF CREAM CHEESE, STAT!!!”
He’s bread, Jim.
Time of deliciousness: 7:15 A.M
If we don’t restart his heart , he’s toast! 
JESUS CRUST.
JAM IT!
“Daddy’s in a butter place now, kids.”

I WASN’T EVEN GOING TO REBLOG UNTIL I SAW THE SHIT TON OF PUNS

HES BREAD JIM

JESUS CRUST

To pay my respects, Ill be sure to place a flour on his grave.

I need this.

semiotickitten:

apiratenhisprincess:

4ngelo:

theodorepython:

miami-tea:

The Defibrillator Toaster

My mom would be so annoyed… every morning I would run into the kitchen screaming “WE’RE LOSING THEM!!! BEEP BEEP BEEPBEEPBEEP!”

“DON’T YOU DIE ON ME, DAMNIT!!!  NURSE, WE NEED 12 CC’S OF CREAM CHEESE, STAT!!!”

He’s bread, Jim.

Time of deliciousness: 7:15 A.M

If we don’t restart his heart , he’s toast! 

JESUS CRUST.

JAM IT!

“Daddy’s in a butter place now, kids.”

I WASN’T EVEN GOING TO REBLOG UNTIL I SAW THE SHIT TON OF PUNS

HES BREAD JIM

JESUS CRUST

To pay my respects, Ill be sure to place a flour on his grave.

I need this.